The job application or resume that isn't chock loaded with outrageous lies and overglorified bullshit.
hands interviewer *the real resume*
Interviewer: It says here that you were 'the Big Chief' at 'Village Island', 'CEO' at 'Baumeister Confections' and 'Captain Charon' on the 'Triton Destroyer'?
Interviewee: That is correct.
Interviewer: Those are computer games, no?
Interviewee: That is correct.
Interviewer: Please leave.
It's the built internal mechanism that reins in your ability to lie compulsively about your age, sex, hair colour, and/or location on the internet just becuase you can, some people have it, some people don't.
SkitZoe: I was playing elfquest online and I may have told silverkiss123 that I'm a fourteen-year-old emo abuse victim at which point he became very adamant about his love for me and determination to fly in from Belgium and rescue me. Do you think I can pull that off?
Internet Sociopath Lie Detector: That's a no, and now report immediately to church.
PWS: Pockets, Wallet, Shoes. It's the once over you give yourself when a drunk street magician comes up to you and offers to show you a card trick and at first you half expect him to screw up, drop the cards and barf on you, but then he proceeds to pull off a trick that both blows your mind AND has you questioning reality for the next 45 minutes. You do the PWS once-over, 'cause if he can do that, then what else is he capable of?
Wow, that was some trick. First, PWS: pockets, wallet shoes. Check. Now, for the important question: Why is it that I can't fry an egg with my mind?
A hep swivel is diverting something with a completly irrelevant question or statement to the subject of conversation. To be used to change the subject, especially when you don't like where the conversation is going.
Valarie: Bobby, we need to talk about our relationship....
Bobby: You're friend Janice called. I think she mentioned something about shoe shopping.
Valarie: Loveyoubye! *SLAM*
Bobby: Phew, saved by the old hep swivel.
the compulsion to stockpile cuban cigars en masse, also the expression used to describe the experience of smoking a cuban cigar.
*smoking a cuban* Person 1: zweedt
*smoking inferior tobbaco* Person 2: Where'd you get that cigar, mine tastes like licking a used tire incinerator.
*clearly gloating* Person 1: I suffer from zweedt.
Someone who's personal definition of reality, is stronger than the view of the general consensus. A reality tweaker is someone who percieves things correctly, but perhaps, neglects to hone in on the smaller details, that fill out the bigger picture, therein bending the facts to their own whims. It is impossible to get an accurate retelling of events from a reality tweaker, and it is difficult to convey common sense instructions, because many facts will be tweaked, and lost along the way. Never assume that a reality tweaker will understand the simplicity in what you are trying to convey. Reality tweakers are not dumb or retarded, and my surprise you ultimately by their ability to understand complex ideas as well. It is impossible to ever truely predict the actions of a reality tweaker.
Jean: Kyle what are you doing with that VHS tape?
Kyle: Well, my grandma gave me this video to watch, but I don't have a VCR, so I'm running it under the tap to soften it up so I can crack it open and watch the pictures inside. It's gonna be great!
Jean: There are no pictures inside, it's a magnetic strip!
Kyle: No, you see, the water will be polarized by the magnetic charge, and I'll run through the strip, then it'll get subliminally imprinted onto my brain, and I'll dream it next time I sleep. I've got it all figured out.
Jean: Reality Tweaker!
A vodka trick shot is when a scantily dressed and decenlty drunken girl climbs up onto the pool table to make a long shot, then side swipes the cue ball into the corner pocket, competely avoiding any other target on the table and still manages to leave all her male companions whole-heartedly impressed.
*cue ball is sunk*
Drunken Girl: **woops,...i..think......I...mesthed...that..up.....heheheHEHEHhehehHEHEHHEHHheehehHEHEHehehehehehheh!!!!!!!@
Guy: Wow, how'd you get your boobies to manover the cue like that?
Immune friend: *sighs* Quite the Vodka Trick Shot!